Thursday, January 8, 2009

Finding The Recipe For A Happy Marriage

By: Robbie T.



If you are going through hard times in your marriage - or even a separation or divorce - you may be on the hunt for books that teach you the recipe for a happy marriage. Choose wisely: many books can be a waste of your time and money! So, how do you choose the best book among the many on the market today? Well, keep reading!
Below I share with you how to choose the best type of relationship book that has the recipe for a happy marriage. My guidance may surprise you.
1 - Do Not be Fooled by the Author's Fancy Credentials
When you find a book with a fancy cover and impressive-looking credentials printed after the author's name, don't be fooled into assuming that this is the best book for you. There are so many academics out here who choose to let their high-priced studies in an ivory tower replace real-world experience. You may have seen or known highly-paid psychologies or psychiatrists who can rattle off mental disorders or neuroses from memory but who are about as warm as a popsicle. You want to avoid those types.
For some academics who write relationship books, instead of spending their time interacting with people, they just use their time to study. Many of them have not really lived the advice they are offering. Why would you go to someone for advice who has never actually "been there" him or herself? No way! Instead, find a book by an author who has actually lived the experiences you are now going through. Maybe they have had their own marriage go sour, or they have helped countless friends out of similar predicaments. Those are the authors you want to trust.
2 - Avoid Books that Make it "All About You"
A successful relationship requires work from both the husband and the wife - and it requires working together to get through the hard times. However, many relationship books ask you to basically turn inward to work on your inner self while completely distancing yourself from your relationship in the meantime. Where is the sense in that? Of course, to repair a broken or troubled relationship and return to a happy marriage, you do need to come from a place of strength and centeredness. But, that doesn't mean the equivalent of becoming a love hermit. Avoid the books that try to steer you in that direction. Rather, look for a book that will give you new information that you can really use - information that can actually guide you on how to have a happy marriage (not just how to be alone and get in touch with yourself).
3 - Look for a Book that Gives You Real, Hands-On Advice
You need to find a book that will you the nitty-gritty, insider information you need most, such as answers to the questions: what do women want? What do men long for? Not only that, the book needs to tell you how to give them what they really want. You need concrete guidance, such as about how to get over an infidelity or how to relieve your own pain in the face of past heartaches.
4 - Look for Testimonials by Folks Like You
Look at the back covers of most of the books you come across in the relationship genre: you will find raving review after raving review. The only trouble is, the reviews you will find there are written by other so-called "experts" - many of whom are paid for their time and/or are close friends of the author. What do those reviews really amount to? Not much. What you want is reviews and testimonials by other "regular folks" who have successfully used the book to fix their own relationships.
Yes, there are many love or relationship books on the market, but most of them are not worth the paper they are printed on. This is because they are written by ivory-tower academics instead of by someone who has not only been through what you are going through - but someone who has helped hundreds of others with their hard-earned knowledge. So, spend a little bit of time finding the right relationship book using these guidelines and you will find that your money has been well-spent
.Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=336116&ca=Marriage

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