Everybody wants a happy marriage. However, nobody seems to want to do what it takes to have one. Most people want to have everything go their way, but that's not realistic and most likely won't happen. Therefore, put these 5 tips to work in your relationship so your marriage can be its best.
1. The first thing you need to do to have a happy marriage is be self-less. It's not easy, but it does work. Selfishness and being self-centered are major causes of an unhappy marriage. If you both put this principle into practice your marriage will be problem free.
2. Showing that you care is another way to have a happy marriage. This helps your partner feel loved and secure. Doing the little things like buying gifts for no reason and giving them attention really does wonders for their self esteem.
3. Learning to make sacrifices helps keep a marriage happy by letting things go that could escalate into an argument. Do you want to have a happy marriage or do you need to be right all the time? Don't allow pride to get in the way, keep the peace.
4. Intimacy is essential for a happy marriage with kisses, hugs, touching, I love you's, hand holding and of course sex. Lack of sex or dull sex can put a huge strain on a marriage.
5. Good communication is a must for marriage to be a happy one, no secrets allowed. Everything should be discussed honestly and openly without fear of being berated.
If you put these 5 easy tips into practice everyday you will have a happy marriage. For it to work you both have to be willing it cannot be one-sided.
For more great marriage tips go to http://www.tipsformarriage.org where you will find solutions, not just answers, to all your marriage problems.
by Sonni Carr
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Sonni_Carr
Friday, January 30, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE-HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR MARRIAGE
Does your marriage need a "turn around"...a "breakthrough"? There are some very simple things YOU can do (not your spouse...you). Why do I say it that way? Because the beautiful thing about relationships is...you can only change what you do, but what you do can be enough to help your spouse change. That is a very powerful concept when you think about it. All psychologists worth their salt, will agree with a very sound principal. That you can not make someone change. Matter of fact, if you try to make someone change, it will probably make things worse. You can not change your husband or your wife. It is up to you to change you and it is up to them to change them...period. Here are 3 things you can do to help your marriage change for the better:
1. Be a better listener. This is huge. Most of the time when we are in a "discussion" that is a little heated, we really don't listen to what our spouse is saying. Most of the time, we are just waiting for a break so that we can voice our opinion, or tell our side of the story. Listening is an art. And if you will practice getting better at it, your marriage will improve greatly. Try this the next time you are in a conversation, discussion, argument, etc. Make a personal commitment to NOT defend yourself, not tell your side of the story (unless asked), but let your focus be on "hearing them, with the intent to understand their side of the story...sincerely". Try to put yourself in their position and see if you have a better understanding of their point of view. 2. Take it a step further. While listening to them tell how they feel, dig deeper by asking questions. Ask them to tell you more. Why do they feel that way? What did you do or say that made them feel that way? Forgot about telling your side of the story and making excuses. Sincerely try to understand their feelings. Now, this is much easier said than done, because in the heat of the moment, it can be very difficult to not give in to your normal tendency to fight back, but I am telling you that if you will try this, and sincerely make an effort to understand their side of the story, it will strengthen your relationship. This is not easy. Let me say it again...this is not easy. But it is very simple. Do you understand the difference? And if you can do it, it applies breakthrough power to your relationship. Guaranteed! It is not the profound, psychological principals that are going to heal a sick marriage. No, it is the simple principals of patience, tolerance, love and forgiveness that bring life changing power into your marriage. And it starts with you being willing to make a sincere effort to "understand" instead of fighting to be "understood". 3. All communication should be geared toward being constructive. Never ridicule and criticize your spouse. If your husband or wife has an area they need to get better in, they probably already know it...or at least, if you just work on you getting better, they will eventually begin to recognize where they need to improve also. Whenever you say mean, hurtful things to your spouse, you are planting seeds of discord that may take weeks, months, years or in some cases may never be forgotten. You are the person that they are closest to in the whole world. In spite of the fact that you may not be getting along, you are the most intimate with them of anyone in their life. When you say things to them that hurt them and tear them down, it does more damage than any other words spoken to them by any other person. The old saying that your mother used to tell you as a child "..if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", is more important than most people think. Now I'm not saying there should be no constructive criticism in a marriage. But that is something that takes place at times when there is an absence of conflict. In the heat of battle is no place for harsh words. They can leave a lasting scar that may never go away. To your successful marriage...
Learning how to communicate is a huge step in doing a tremendous amount of good toward helping you save your marriage. Learning how to share your feelings doesn't have to be difficult. If you are serious about doing your part to improve your marriage relationship, you must visit http://www.marriagesaver.info. It will change your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ron_Stephens
1. Be a better listener. This is huge. Most of the time when we are in a "discussion" that is a little heated, we really don't listen to what our spouse is saying. Most of the time, we are just waiting for a break so that we can voice our opinion, or tell our side of the story. Listening is an art. And if you will practice getting better at it, your marriage will improve greatly. Try this the next time you are in a conversation, discussion, argument, etc. Make a personal commitment to NOT defend yourself, not tell your side of the story (unless asked), but let your focus be on "hearing them, with the intent to understand their side of the story...sincerely". Try to put yourself in their position and see if you have a better understanding of their point of view. 2. Take it a step further. While listening to them tell how they feel, dig deeper by asking questions. Ask them to tell you more. Why do they feel that way? What did you do or say that made them feel that way? Forgot about telling your side of the story and making excuses. Sincerely try to understand their feelings. Now, this is much easier said than done, because in the heat of the moment, it can be very difficult to not give in to your normal tendency to fight back, but I am telling you that if you will try this, and sincerely make an effort to understand their side of the story, it will strengthen your relationship. This is not easy. Let me say it again...this is not easy. But it is very simple. Do you understand the difference? And if you can do it, it applies breakthrough power to your relationship. Guaranteed! It is not the profound, psychological principals that are going to heal a sick marriage. No, it is the simple principals of patience, tolerance, love and forgiveness that bring life changing power into your marriage. And it starts with you being willing to make a sincere effort to "understand" instead of fighting to be "understood". 3. All communication should be geared toward being constructive. Never ridicule and criticize your spouse. If your husband or wife has an area they need to get better in, they probably already know it...or at least, if you just work on you getting better, they will eventually begin to recognize where they need to improve also. Whenever you say mean, hurtful things to your spouse, you are planting seeds of discord that may take weeks, months, years or in some cases may never be forgotten. You are the person that they are closest to in the whole world. In spite of the fact that you may not be getting along, you are the most intimate with them of anyone in their life. When you say things to them that hurt them and tear them down, it does more damage than any other words spoken to them by any other person. The old saying that your mother used to tell you as a child "..if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all", is more important than most people think. Now I'm not saying there should be no constructive criticism in a marriage. But that is something that takes place at times when there is an absence of conflict. In the heat of battle is no place for harsh words. They can leave a lasting scar that may never go away. To your successful marriage...
Learning how to communicate is a huge step in doing a tremendous amount of good toward helping you save your marriage. Learning how to share your feelings doesn't have to be difficult. If you are serious about doing your part to improve your marriage relationship, you must visit http://www.marriagesaver.info. It will change your life.
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Ron_Stephens
Friday, January 16, 2009
BASIC CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE ADVICE
Does your Christian marriage need help? If so, take a few minutes to step back and consider this basic Christian marriage advice - straight from the Bible.
1. Give Your Marriage to God
Most "Christian marriages" are Christian in name only. One or both spouses claim to be Christians, and they assume then that their marriage is likewise "Christian." It doesn't work that way. To be a Christian is to be not only a believer in, but also a follower of Jesus Christ. Does your marriage truly believe in Christ? Does your family follow Christ?
The first thing you must do is dedicate (or re-dedicate) your marriage and family to God. Put your marriage on the altar. Give it to God. Don't try to "control" your marriage or your spouse. Give it all to God. From this day forward, your marriage must be God's marriage.
2. Re-commit Yourself to God
Before you re-commit your marriage to God, you may need to do that with your own life. In fact, we should put ourselves on the altar each day (Romans 12:1-3). Are you living for yourself? Are you trying to make yourself happy and/or expecting your spouse to make you happy?
As bestselling author and pastor Rick Warren puts it: "You were made by God and for God, and until you understand that, life will never make sense." Give God back the keys to your life. Give Him control.
3. Pray Without Ceasing
Prayer is not so much about petitioning God and asking Him for things. It's about spending time with God and bringing yourself into a deeper relationship with Him. Truly effective prayer is not possible until you have done the preceding step, which is to give yourself to God. Once you've done that, pray without ceasing.
Pray. Pray. Pray. Never stop praying. Pray in the morning, during the day, and at night. Pray while you're driving. Pray in the good times and in the bad times. And, right now, if you're trying to put your marriage back together, then pour yourself out to God every day (as David does in the Psalms). Give all your burdens, cares, and stresses to the Lord.
4. Love Your Spouse Unconditionally
This is the tough part. You must love your husband or wife unconditionally. (Side note: If you are in an abusive relationship, especially one that is putting you in danger, get out of the house and seek help! You should still love your spouse, but you don't need to put yourself in any more danger). Assuming that you are not in any physical danger, you must commit to loving your spouse unconditionally - and expressing that love in consistent, practical ways.
If you want to know about unconditional love, consider the example of Jesus. You should also read I Corinthians 13. By putting these four principles into practice, you will see positive results in your Christian marriage.
| Start transforming your marriage today! Click here for your FREE copy of "Secrets of an Amazing Marriage," plus a free 7-day Marriage Transformation e-course, and more! Take action. Don't delay. Grab your free "Christian Marriage Helper" resources above - and start improving your marriage today! Brian Tubbs is a pastor as well as the author and course manager for ChristianMarriageHelper.com and the Feature Columnist-Editor for Protestantism at Suite101.com. Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Brian_Tubbs |
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
SAVING YOUR MARRIAGE JUST IN TIME-HOW TO AVOID DIVORCE
There are certain key elements to saving a marriage that you should be aware of. You don't want to end up like the millions of others who have used divorce as a way to resolve the problems with their partners. There are better ways to go about dealing with your differences, you don't have to let the love of your life go because there is a better way.
Anyone who wants to save their marriage must realize that there is a long road ahead. Every single day you must work towards keeping your relationship together. There will still be tough times ahead, which is why you must always keep the lines of communication open with whoever you are with. The more you talk to each other about how you are feeling in the moment, the better chance you have of saving your marriage.
What often happens between two people who are married is they let the everyday things that bother them build up, causing an unspoken tension between the two people. This in turn causes this pent up frustration to explode one day, leading to much larger problems. To avoid having this bigger problems farther down the road, the best thing you can do is to talk to your partner whenever you feel like something isn't right.
Simply hoping that your marriage will work out is not enough. You have to be willing to put in the hard work and dedication needed for your relationship to survive. Many people make the mistake of waiting, putting off these exercises because they don't think it matter, but it does. The sooner you start communicating with your partner, listening to his or her needs and wants, the sooner your marriage will be back on track. Honesty is a key element in going back saving your marriage. Without complete disclosure to your partner, those little white lies start to build up and spin a complex web of anger and frustration between the two people involved. If you want to save your relationship, honestly and communication is key.Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_
Anyone who wants to save their marriage must realize that there is a long road ahead. Every single day you must work towards keeping your relationship together. There will still be tough times ahead, which is why you must always keep the lines of communication open with whoever you are with. The more you talk to each other about how you are feeling in the moment, the better chance you have of saving your marriage.
What often happens between two people who are married is they let the everyday things that bother them build up, causing an unspoken tension between the two people. This in turn causes this pent up frustration to explode one day, leading to much larger problems. To avoid having this bigger problems farther down the road, the best thing you can do is to talk to your partner whenever you feel like something isn't right.
Simply hoping that your marriage will work out is not enough. You have to be willing to put in the hard work and dedication needed for your relationship to survive. Many people make the mistake of waiting, putting off these exercises because they don't think it matter, but it does. The sooner you start communicating with your partner, listening to his or her needs and wants, the sooner your marriage will be back on track. Honesty is a key element in going back saving your marriage. Without complete disclosure to your partner, those little white lies start to build up and spin a complex web of anger and frustration between the two people involved. If you want to save your relationship, honestly and communication is key.Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Susan_
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
LEARN HOW TO SAVE A FAILING MARRIAGE INSTANTLY
Is your marriage going through a rough patch these days? Are you sensing serious trouble looming in the horizon? Do you think a divorce will soon be in the works? Fear not! This is the article that will make you learn how to save a failing marriage instantly!
In recent years, marriage has taken on a liberal meaning. Some couples don't go to a priest or a judge to have rites of marriage performed over them - they simply live together as husband and wife. Some couples are not even composed of a husband and a wife in the traditional, conservative sense. In its simplest sense, marriage is a union between two people who promise to love each other no matter what until the end of time. As you may have learned over years of married life, the elements of marriage are not exactly easy to deal it. For example, the term "union between two people" can feel like a bore and a task, especially with the short attention span and polygamous nature of human beings. The term "love each other no matter what" can prove hard, especially with the imperfectness that comes with being human. Finally, the term "until the end of time" can feel impossible, especially with how difficult things have been lately. Making a marriage work takes hard work; finding out how to save a failing marriage takes double the effort.
If you know you're marriage is failing, you need to ask yourself whether or not you want to fix things and save your relationship. Sometimes, divorce can be the best option, especially when there is no more love left in your and/or your partner's heart. However, divorce is not the only option and it's definitely out of the question if you and your partner still care about each other but are just stuck in a rut. The first and most important step you need to take on how to save a failing marriage is marriage counseling.
You may not want to admit this but one of the biggest reasons why you're marriage is failing is lack of communication. Communication is an important ingredient in the success of any relationship. In marriage, communication is the rock upon which all things are built. If you and your spouse are no longer talking - whether you're just skipping out on the serious issues or have stopped talking to and with each other completely - chances are, your marriage will fall apart sooner than you think. Marriage counseling promotes communication and gives you and your spouse a venue for discussing your marital problems. This is the reason why marriage counseling is usually short-term: couples need only one session to get things started and work out their troubles on their own from there. Experts who write articles and publish books on how to save a failing marriage always recommend marriage counseling as a significant part of the road to recovery and healing.
It doesn't stop at marriage counseling. If you really want to know how to save a failing marriage, you must be determined to make your relationship last. Major factors that determine a marriage's happy longevity include mutual respect, trust, faithfulness, commitment, and, above all, lovePublished At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=316442&ca=Marriage
In recent years, marriage has taken on a liberal meaning. Some couples don't go to a priest or a judge to have rites of marriage performed over them - they simply live together as husband and wife. Some couples are not even composed of a husband and a wife in the traditional, conservative sense. In its simplest sense, marriage is a union between two people who promise to love each other no matter what until the end of time. As you may have learned over years of married life, the elements of marriage are not exactly easy to deal it. For example, the term "union between two people" can feel like a bore and a task, especially with the short attention span and polygamous nature of human beings. The term "love each other no matter what" can prove hard, especially with the imperfectness that comes with being human. Finally, the term "until the end of time" can feel impossible, especially with how difficult things have been lately. Making a marriage work takes hard work; finding out how to save a failing marriage takes double the effort.
If you know you're marriage is failing, you need to ask yourself whether or not you want to fix things and save your relationship. Sometimes, divorce can be the best option, especially when there is no more love left in your and/or your partner's heart. However, divorce is not the only option and it's definitely out of the question if you and your partner still care about each other but are just stuck in a rut. The first and most important step you need to take on how to save a failing marriage is marriage counseling.
You may not want to admit this but one of the biggest reasons why you're marriage is failing is lack of communication. Communication is an important ingredient in the success of any relationship. In marriage, communication is the rock upon which all things are built. If you and your spouse are no longer talking - whether you're just skipping out on the serious issues or have stopped talking to and with each other completely - chances are, your marriage will fall apart sooner than you think. Marriage counseling promotes communication and gives you and your spouse a venue for discussing your marital problems. This is the reason why marriage counseling is usually short-term: couples need only one session to get things started and work out their troubles on their own from there. Experts who write articles and publish books on how to save a failing marriage always recommend marriage counseling as a significant part of the road to recovery and healing.
It doesn't stop at marriage counseling. If you really want to know how to save a failing marriage, you must be determined to make your relationship last. Major factors that determine a marriage's happy longevity include mutual respect, trust, faithfulness, commitment, and, above all, lovePublished At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=316442&ca=Marriage
Monday, January 12, 2009
4 Concepts in Clear Communication Within a Marriage
Has something recently gone wrong in your marriage, causing one or both of you to lose faith slightly? Often, the key to resolving these types of issues is good communication.
The typical scenario many couples face goes something like this: you were both going about your lives and enjoying your relationship, when you started to notice that things between you were not quite the same as they used to be. Communication started to break down and things got off track. Never fear - it is possible to learn good communication skills to improve your marriage and rekindle your love.
Here are 4 concepts in clear communication within a marriage that can help you both dig yourselves out of your communication hole:
1 - Letting Go of the Need to be Right
Start by asking yourself these four questions:
- Are the issues that led to your communication breakdown really important enough to warrant such a rift in your relationship?
- Are the root causes of your recent problems even worth arguing about?
- By taking the particular stand or position that you have taken regarding these issues, do you really come out ahead in terms of your overall life goals and happiness?
- Could the potential outcome of this underlying issue substantially affect your life plans together in terms of finances, your sex life, your children, your home, or other potentially major aspect of your life?
If you answered "no" to any of these questions, the wisest thing to do at this point may be to drop the issue entirely so that you can both focus on getting to the heart of your communication issues. Many communication issues can be avoided if one or both of you can manage to take a softer stance on the issues that affect you most. Believe it or not, most argument are completely unnecessary and could be overcome if both of you could agree that it is more important to be loved than to be right.
2 - Avoid Playing into What You Think Your Partner Wants
The next key communication concept is that of worrying less about how your spouse is perceiving you or how they expect you to act. It does not make sense to work too hard at trying to be someone you are not. If you do, you wior she sees you so that you can just be yourself. You will please your husband or wife the most when you are comfortable in your own skin and are being your true self.ll end up wasting your energy and you will not able to keep up your false appearances for long. It is important let go of your concerns about how he
3 - Give Yourself the Space You Need
At times when you are feeling frustrated about your relationship or are feeling disrespected by your mate, it is important to give yourself the space you need. While the importance of doing so may not be immediately obvious, it is an important step in learning how to repair your relationship. Whenever you feel like communication has broken down between you and your spouse, remove yourself from the situation in order to get your bearings. When you feel calmer and more relaxed, you will both be able to work from a position of strength.
4 - Take an Unbiased Approach When Analyzing Your Communication Issues
Once you have cleared your head and found your space, it is time to coolly and calmly analyze your communication issues. Once you and your spouse have had the chance to get some distance from the situation, it is important that you both try to focus on the issues at hand rather than the raw emotion that may be getting in the way of clear communication. Avoid blame words and focus instead on your feelings.
These are just some of the concepts in clear communication within a marriage that I have come across after trying everything from self-help books to therapy to good old trial-and-error. I did not come up with these concepts myself, but I have used them to great success in my relationship. What helped the most was finding some real relationship gurus who have turned fixing communication and rekindling marital love into a true science.Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=333052&ca=Marriage
The typical scenario many couples face goes something like this: you were both going about your lives and enjoying your relationship, when you started to notice that things between you were not quite the same as they used to be. Communication started to break down and things got off track. Never fear - it is possible to learn good communication skills to improve your marriage and rekindle your love.
Here are 4 concepts in clear communication within a marriage that can help you both dig yourselves out of your communication hole:
1 - Letting Go of the Need to be Right
Start by asking yourself these four questions:
- Are the issues that led to your communication breakdown really important enough to warrant such a rift in your relationship?
- Are the root causes of your recent problems even worth arguing about?
- By taking the particular stand or position that you have taken regarding these issues, do you really come out ahead in terms of your overall life goals and happiness?
- Could the potential outcome of this underlying issue substantially affect your life plans together in terms of finances, your sex life, your children, your home, or other potentially major aspect of your life?
If you answered "no" to any of these questions, the wisest thing to do at this point may be to drop the issue entirely so that you can both focus on getting to the heart of your communication issues. Many communication issues can be avoided if one or both of you can manage to take a softer stance on the issues that affect you most. Believe it or not, most argument are completely unnecessary and could be overcome if both of you could agree that it is more important to be loved than to be right.
2 - Avoid Playing into What You Think Your Partner Wants
The next key communication concept is that of worrying less about how your spouse is perceiving you or how they expect you to act. It does not make sense to work too hard at trying to be someone you are not. If you do, you wior she sees you so that you can just be yourself. You will please your husband or wife the most when you are comfortable in your own skin and are being your true self.ll end up wasting your energy and you will not able to keep up your false appearances for long. It is important let go of your concerns about how he
3 - Give Yourself the Space You Need
At times when you are feeling frustrated about your relationship or are feeling disrespected by your mate, it is important to give yourself the space you need. While the importance of doing so may not be immediately obvious, it is an important step in learning how to repair your relationship. Whenever you feel like communication has broken down between you and your spouse, remove yourself from the situation in order to get your bearings. When you feel calmer and more relaxed, you will both be able to work from a position of strength.
4 - Take an Unbiased Approach When Analyzing Your Communication Issues
Once you have cleared your head and found your space, it is time to coolly and calmly analyze your communication issues. Once you and your spouse have had the chance to get some distance from the situation, it is important that you both try to focus on the issues at hand rather than the raw emotion that may be getting in the way of clear communication. Avoid blame words and focus instead on your feelings.
These are just some of the concepts in clear communication within a marriage that I have come across after trying everything from self-help books to therapy to good old trial-and-error. I did not come up with these concepts myself, but I have used them to great success in my relationship. What helped the most was finding some real relationship gurus who have turned fixing communication and rekindling marital love into a true science.Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=333052&ca=Marriage
Thursday, January 8, 2009
Finding The Recipe For A Happy Marriage
By: Robbie T.
If you are going through hard times in your marriage - or even a separation or divorce - you may be on the hunt for books that teach you the recipe for a happy marriage. Choose wisely: many books can be a waste of your time and money! So, how do you choose the best book among the many on the market today? Well, keep reading!
Below I share with you how to choose the best type of relationship book that has the recipe for a happy marriage. My guidance may surprise you.
1 - Do Not be Fooled by the Author's Fancy Credentials
When you find a book with a fancy cover and impressive-looking credentials printed after the author's name, don't be fooled into assuming that this is the best book for you. There are so many academics out here who choose to let their high-priced studies in an ivory tower replace real-world experience. You may have seen or known highly-paid psychologies or psychiatrists who can rattle off mental disorders or neuroses from memory but who are about as warm as a popsicle. You want to avoid those types.
For some academics who write relationship books, instead of spending their time interacting with people, they just use their time to study. Many of them have not really lived the advice they are offering. Why would you go to someone for advice who has never actually "been there" him or herself? No way! Instead, find a book by an author who has actually lived the experiences you are now going through. Maybe they have had their own marriage go sour, or they have helped countless friends out of similar predicaments. Those are the authors you want to trust.
2 - Avoid Books that Make it "All About You"
A successful relationship requires work from both the husband and the wife - and it requires working together to get through the hard times. However, many relationship books ask you to basically turn inward to work on your inner self while completely distancing yourself from your relationship in the meantime. Where is the sense in that? Of course, to repair a broken or troubled relationship and return to a happy marriage, you do need to come from a place of strength and centeredness. But, that doesn't mean the equivalent of becoming a love hermit. Avoid the books that try to steer you in that direction. Rather, look for a book that will give you new information that you can really use - information that can actually guide you on how to have a happy marriage (not just how to be alone and get in touch with yourself).
3 - Look for a Book that Gives You Real, Hands-On Advice
You need to find a book that will you the nitty-gritty, insider information you need most, such as answers to the questions: what do women want? What do men long for? Not only that, the book needs to tell you how to give them what they really want. You need concrete guidance, such as about how to get over an infidelity or how to relieve your own pain in the face of past heartaches.
4 - Look for Testimonials by Folks Like You
Look at the back covers of most of the books you come across in the relationship genre: you will find raving review after raving review. The only trouble is, the reviews you will find there are written by other so-called "experts" - many of whom are paid for their time and/or are close friends of the author. What do those reviews really amount to? Not much. What you want is reviews and testimonials by other "regular folks" who have successfully used the book to fix their own relationships.
Yes, there are many love or relationship books on the market, but most of them are not worth the paper they are printed on. This is because they are written by ivory-tower academics instead of by someone who has not only been through what you are going through - but someone who has helped hundreds of others with their hard-earned knowledge. So, spend a little bit of time finding the right relationship book using these guidelines and you will find that your money has been well-spent.Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=336116&ca=Marriage
If you are going through hard times in your marriage - or even a separation or divorce - you may be on the hunt for books that teach you the recipe for a happy marriage. Choose wisely: many books can be a waste of your time and money! So, how do you choose the best book among the many on the market today? Well, keep reading!
Below I share with you how to choose the best type of relationship book that has the recipe for a happy marriage. My guidance may surprise you.
1 - Do Not be Fooled by the Author's Fancy Credentials
When you find a book with a fancy cover and impressive-looking credentials printed after the author's name, don't be fooled into assuming that this is the best book for you. There are so many academics out here who choose to let their high-priced studies in an ivory tower replace real-world experience. You may have seen or known highly-paid psychologies or psychiatrists who can rattle off mental disorders or neuroses from memory but who are about as warm as a popsicle. You want to avoid those types.
For some academics who write relationship books, instead of spending their time interacting with people, they just use their time to study. Many of them have not really lived the advice they are offering. Why would you go to someone for advice who has never actually "been there" him or herself? No way! Instead, find a book by an author who has actually lived the experiences you are now going through. Maybe they have had their own marriage go sour, or they have helped countless friends out of similar predicaments. Those are the authors you want to trust.
2 - Avoid Books that Make it "All About You"
A successful relationship requires work from both the husband and the wife - and it requires working together to get through the hard times. However, many relationship books ask you to basically turn inward to work on your inner self while completely distancing yourself from your relationship in the meantime. Where is the sense in that? Of course, to repair a broken or troubled relationship and return to a happy marriage, you do need to come from a place of strength and centeredness. But, that doesn't mean the equivalent of becoming a love hermit. Avoid the books that try to steer you in that direction. Rather, look for a book that will give you new information that you can really use - information that can actually guide you on how to have a happy marriage (not just how to be alone and get in touch with yourself).
3 - Look for a Book that Gives You Real, Hands-On Advice
You need to find a book that will you the nitty-gritty, insider information you need most, such as answers to the questions: what do women want? What do men long for? Not only that, the book needs to tell you how to give them what they really want. You need concrete guidance, such as about how to get over an infidelity or how to relieve your own pain in the face of past heartaches.
4 - Look for Testimonials by Folks Like You
Look at the back covers of most of the books you come across in the relationship genre: you will find raving review after raving review. The only trouble is, the reviews you will find there are written by other so-called "experts" - many of whom are paid for their time and/or are close friends of the author. What do those reviews really amount to? Not much. What you want is reviews and testimonials by other "regular folks" who have successfully used the book to fix their own relationships.
Yes, there are many love or relationship books on the market, but most of them are not worth the paper they are printed on. This is because they are written by ivory-tower academics instead of by someone who has not only been through what you are going through - but someone who has helped hundreds of others with their hard-earned knowledge. So, spend a little bit of time finding the right relationship book using these guidelines and you will find that your money has been well-spent.Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=336116&ca=Marriage
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
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How to Fall in Love With Your Spouse All Over Again: Tips to Revive a Stale Marriage
By: Kim
Whether you’ve been together for 40 days or 40 years, marriage is a series of ups and downs. You may not always feel in love with your spouse. In fact, I can almost guarantee there will be times you’ll wonder if you even like your partner at all. It’s not a question of whether you’ll occasionally fall out of love with each other, but more a matter of praying you both don’t fall out of love at the same time.
The secret to a happy -- or should we say successful -- marriage isn’t really a secret at all; the key is in keeping romance alive.
Anything living needs to be fed, and so does your relationship.
* Do Small Kindnesses for Each Other Every Day
Make her coffee before you leave the house in the morning. Put a note in his or her briefcase or sock drawer, where it’ll be found unexpectedly. Text her that you love her while riding home on the train. It’s the little things you do every day that make your spouse feel loved and needed. What little thing can you do to make sure your spouse feels the love?
* Plan Special Times Together
You might smirk at the suggestion of having a weekly date night, but there’s a reason counselors suggest it to couples; it’s a tried and true way of scheduling romantic time alone. Find something you both like to do, whether it’s eating out, biking or walking -- it doesn’t matter what it is, just make the time to do it together.
No babysitter? Have what I call a ‘Kissing and Cooking’ night. Put the kids in front of a video and the two of you can spend time together in the kitchen – tickling each others senses. Call it Mom and Dad’s time to share the love while showing your kids the value you’ve place on your relationship.
Think of how many divorced couples you know, or how many friendships that have fallen by the wayside. We need to spend time with the ones we love. Luckily, it’s never too late to build or rebuild that special bond.
* Respect Each Other’s Interests
You may not always love everything your spouse loves to do, but you can learn to love watching them do it. Think of it this way, instead of loving what he loves, love watching him enjoy what he loves.
Sit on the couch and watch a ballgame even though you don’t like sports. If she loves art, spend the afternoon at a museum or art exhibit. It doesn’t have to be an everyday event, it’s about respecting each other’s interests from time to time with one thing in mind -- giving them your attention and unconditional time just to show how much you care.
* Realize it’s Not Always 50/50
Marriage is rarely a 50/50 proposition. It’s pointless to keep score and become bitter because you feel you’re doing more than your fair share. In reality, there are times you’ll put in 70-percent of the effort and times your spouse will pick up the slack when you can barely devote 20-percent.
It may feel like a tug of war sometimes, but it’s really giving and sacrificing when your spouse is weak and him returning the favor during your tough times. It is the for better or for worse part of your vows played out in every day life.
* It Takes Time and Effort
When you put time into your lawn it looks great. When you put time into practicing the piano you sound great. A happy, healthy marriage takes time, attention and loving care; it doesn’t just happen. Everyone is busy these days and there never seems to be enough time for everything.
Don’t waste time on things that don’t really matter and not leave enough time for the things that do. The time you put into your marriage will create a lifetime of happy, loving memories that you’ll remember for years to come.
So, roll up your sleeves, hoot and holler, hug your honey and do a little dance around your computer because you can start enhancing the romance in your marriage today.
Happy living and loving!Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=320511&ca=Marriage
By: Kim
Whether you’ve been together for 40 days or 40 years, marriage is a series of ups and downs. You may not always feel in love with your spouse. In fact, I can almost guarantee there will be times you’ll wonder if you even like your partner at all. It’s not a question of whether you’ll occasionally fall out of love with each other, but more a matter of praying you both don’t fall out of love at the same time.
The secret to a happy -- or should we say successful -- marriage isn’t really a secret at all; the key is in keeping romance alive.
Anything living needs to be fed, and so does your relationship.
* Do Small Kindnesses for Each Other Every Day
Make her coffee before you leave the house in the morning. Put a note in his or her briefcase or sock drawer, where it’ll be found unexpectedly. Text her that you love her while riding home on the train. It’s the little things you do every day that make your spouse feel loved and needed. What little thing can you do to make sure your spouse feels the love?
* Plan Special Times Together
You might smirk at the suggestion of having a weekly date night, but there’s a reason counselors suggest it to couples; it’s a tried and true way of scheduling romantic time alone. Find something you both like to do, whether it’s eating out, biking or walking -- it doesn’t matter what it is, just make the time to do it together.
No babysitter? Have what I call a ‘Kissing and Cooking’ night. Put the kids in front of a video and the two of you can spend time together in the kitchen – tickling each others senses. Call it Mom and Dad’s time to share the love while showing your kids the value you’ve place on your relationship.
Think of how many divorced couples you know, or how many friendships that have fallen by the wayside. We need to spend time with the ones we love. Luckily, it’s never too late to build or rebuild that special bond.
* Respect Each Other’s Interests
You may not always love everything your spouse loves to do, but you can learn to love watching them do it. Think of it this way, instead of loving what he loves, love watching him enjoy what he loves.
Sit on the couch and watch a ballgame even though you don’t like sports. If she loves art, spend the afternoon at a museum or art exhibit. It doesn’t have to be an everyday event, it’s about respecting each other’s interests from time to time with one thing in mind -- giving them your attention and unconditional time just to show how much you care.
* Realize it’s Not Always 50/50
Marriage is rarely a 50/50 proposition. It’s pointless to keep score and become bitter because you feel you’re doing more than your fair share. In reality, there are times you’ll put in 70-percent of the effort and times your spouse will pick up the slack when you can barely devote 20-percent.
It may feel like a tug of war sometimes, but it’s really giving and sacrificing when your spouse is weak and him returning the favor during your tough times. It is the for better or for worse part of your vows played out in every day life.
* It Takes Time and Effort
When you put time into your lawn it looks great. When you put time into practicing the piano you sound great. A happy, healthy marriage takes time, attention and loving care; it doesn’t just happen. Everyone is busy these days and there never seems to be enough time for everything.
Don’t waste time on things that don’t really matter and not leave enough time for the things that do. The time you put into your marriage will create a lifetime of happy, loving memories that you’ll remember for years to come.
So, roll up your sleeves, hoot and holler, hug your honey and do a little dance around your computer because you can start enhancing the romance in your marriage today.
Happy living and loving!Published At: www.Isnare.comPermanent Link: http://www.isnare.com/?aid=320511&ca=Marriage
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
4 PRACTICAL TIPS ON HOW TO SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE
It's disheartening to know that there are lots of unhappy marriages out there and many end up in messy divorces. The fact is, getting a divorce is not the usual solution when a marriage hits rock bottom. There are many ways to save marriage. If both partners are committed to save their relationship, they can always seek help from a reputable counselor.
Aside from counseling services, there are other practical tips on how to save marriage. Take note of the following, for this will help you.
* Learn to realize that there is no such thing as a perfect marriage. Every relationship has its own share of problems, and there are those that are so massive that it will threaten your relationship as a whole. This is all very natural. A couple must learn how to overcome all their problems and keep the marriage intact. Those couples who seek perfection will be doomed to deep disappointment. People will always make mistakes and they must learn how to fix them, especially if they are in a marriage.
* Good communication is essential. Couples who can't communicate openly always experience problems in their relationship. Being honest with your partner is one of the most important ingredients when it comes to saving marriage. Issues of all kinds can be resolved with the right amount of communication.
* Learn how to compromise with your partner. There is a reason why compromise is considered an art, and for a good reason. It's not easy finding a middle ground between two people and their principles in order to come up with something that both of them can live with. Marriage is all about compromise, actually. You can't afford to be selfish when you're married. There are times that you will have to give way, and there are situations that your partner will have to do the same.
* It's all about commitment. Remember that marriage is like having a car. If the car breaks down, you just don't say that you want to get rid of the car, do you? You will do all you can to fix it, of course. Getting rid of a car is usually the last resort, and this is only done when the damage is truly beyond hopeless. How to save marriage relies largely on the amount of commitment that both partners put into it. It just won't work if one is disinterested in making things work.
Of course, there are marriages that can't be saved no matter what measures are taken. There are issues that can't really be solved no matter how much help is extended by counseling. In these cases, divorce can be considered. Just as it's not good to dissolve a union, it's also not a good thing to keep two people who are at odds with each other in a relationship. It's great to know that there are many ways to save marriage, but again, some things can't be resolved and such relationships are meant to be dissolved.
About the Author
For even more tips, visit How to Save Marriage now! Visit my blog at http://howtosavemarriage.org
Saturday, January 3, 2009
REKINDLING LOVE IN ORDER TO SAVE A MARRIAGE
Love is essential in order for a marriage to work, because most marriages are based on the love felt by partners for each other. Unless a marriage is just based on convenience, a union usually dissolves when love is already gone. To save a marriage means restoring love between the couple. It's an unfortunate thing when love fizzles out of a marriage. In order to restore a healthy relationship it's necessary to rekindle the love that you felt for your partner when you first got hitched.
To rekindle the love and passion in your relationship, you should first remember the things that you do for each other during the first stages of your relationship. Remember the times that you served breakfast in bed for your spouse, or the time you ordered a hundred roses just for your anniversary? Those little things are very important when it comes to maintaining the love in a relationship, and you need to bring them back if you want to save a marriage.
An effective way to tell if a marriage is in the doldrums is if the intensity of the sex has dwindled too. Couples who have been together for the longest time usually experience a lackluster period in their intimate life. More often that not, sex will become a bit stale at some point in a couple's relationship. One way to save a marriage is to bring back the sizzle in your sex life. To resolve this problem, make a supreme effort to spend more time with each other. Make love like you once did when your relationship was still young. Remember the passion that the two of you had back then? Passion like that should never wane even when you've been together for many years now. Bring back the sizzle in your relationship by going on a vacation, just the two of you and have a second honeymoon. Take time off from your jobs and the kids and focus on getting to know each other intimately all over again.
Any relationship will have its own share of arguments and bitterness. The important thing however is to learn how to overcome them. Hiding resentment from your partner is a surefire way to dampen the love and passion that you have for your spouse. Learn how to talk things over and always strive to come into resolution. Get over your resentments. . To save a marriage, it is necessary to extend more understanding towards your mate.
Jealousy is a staple in every relationship. It can damage relationships, but it can actually put the love back in your union if experienced in healthy doses. As long as nothing destructive happens as a result of intense jealousy, a little bit of it can help you express how important your partner is to you.
Perhaps the most important thing of all is to remember to tell your spouse how much you love him or her. Knowing that your partner loves you back is essential to save a marriage. Do not say "I love you" on just special occasions; learn how to say it everyday, every chance you get. Being loved and knowing it is the most precious feeling in the world.
How to Save Marriage
Visit my blog at http://howtosavemarriage.org
Mary R. Jones
To rekindle the love and passion in your relationship, you should first remember the things that you do for each other during the first stages of your relationship. Remember the times that you served breakfast in bed for your spouse, or the time you ordered a hundred roses just for your anniversary? Those little things are very important when it comes to maintaining the love in a relationship, and you need to bring them back if you want to save a marriage.
An effective way to tell if a marriage is in the doldrums is if the intensity of the sex has dwindled too. Couples who have been together for the longest time usually experience a lackluster period in their intimate life. More often that not, sex will become a bit stale at some point in a couple's relationship. One way to save a marriage is to bring back the sizzle in your sex life. To resolve this problem, make a supreme effort to spend more time with each other. Make love like you once did when your relationship was still young. Remember the passion that the two of you had back then? Passion like that should never wane even when you've been together for many years now. Bring back the sizzle in your relationship by going on a vacation, just the two of you and have a second honeymoon. Take time off from your jobs and the kids and focus on getting to know each other intimately all over again.
Any relationship will have its own share of arguments and bitterness. The important thing however is to learn how to overcome them. Hiding resentment from your partner is a surefire way to dampen the love and passion that you have for your spouse. Learn how to talk things over and always strive to come into resolution. Get over your resentments. . To save a marriage, it is necessary to extend more understanding towards your mate.
Jealousy is a staple in every relationship. It can damage relationships, but it can actually put the love back in your union if experienced in healthy doses. As long as nothing destructive happens as a result of intense jealousy, a little bit of it can help you express how important your partner is to you.
Perhaps the most important thing of all is to remember to tell your spouse how much you love him or her. Knowing that your partner loves you back is essential to save a marriage. Do not say "I love you" on just special occasions; learn how to say it everyday, every chance you get. Being loved and knowing it is the most precious feeling in the world.
How to Save Marriage
Visit my blog at http://howtosavemarriage.org
Mary R. Jones
Friday, January 2, 2009
Steps To Financial Bliss In Marrriage
While money won't buy love, and it certainly won't guarantee your happiness, problems with managing your finances can (and do!) lead to divorce. However, with careful planning and thoughtful consideration by both of you, your relationship can avoid any nasty pitfalls or potential problems caused by poor money management. Here are some tips to help you on your path to financial security!
• Discuss your issues and goals. Honesty is a key factor in any relationship, and without it your relationship may not fare very will. You need to work with your partner to come up with some goals and possibly a budget. Discuss what is important to both of you; how much should you save? How much should you put back for retirement? Are you going to invest your money? There are a lot of possibilities, and you should think about each one carefully.
• Set a budget! This will help keep you from spending money you shouldn't. With modern technology, you can devise a budget and keep track of all your expenses, usually with one program. Most banks allow you to automatically deposit money from your check into your savings account; take advantage of this, and resist the urge to spend your savings! One of the reasons many budgets fail is that they limit people too much; make sure to leave some room for "miscellaneous" expenses, if you can. This allows you a little leeway to make those purchases that you may not need, but you'll end up buying nonetheless.
• Invest what you can. If you have money left over after your expenses and budget have been satisfied, consider what you should do with it. Sure, you could buy a new TV or a pair of shoes, but do you need either? Instead of spending it, consider investing it; this is, in essence, using your money to make money. It's passive income; it requires some work and thought to make smart investments, but once you invest it you only have to wait and reap the rewards. Now if you bought a car with it, as soon as you drive off the lot you have lost money!
Managing your money and finances is a great way to ensure the success of your marriage; if you are living comfortably, all other potential issues will be easier to deal with. If, however, your marriage is crumbling and you can't pay the bills, you may not be married for much longer!
So do what is best for your marriage; follow my advice and you may just live happily ever after.
You can get more valuable and free relationship advice at the website of http://www.relationship-buddy.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=D._Teoli
• Discuss your issues and goals. Honesty is a key factor in any relationship, and without it your relationship may not fare very will. You need to work with your partner to come up with some goals and possibly a budget. Discuss what is important to both of you; how much should you save? How much should you put back for retirement? Are you going to invest your money? There are a lot of possibilities, and you should think about each one carefully.
• Set a budget! This will help keep you from spending money you shouldn't. With modern technology, you can devise a budget and keep track of all your expenses, usually with one program. Most banks allow you to automatically deposit money from your check into your savings account; take advantage of this, and resist the urge to spend your savings! One of the reasons many budgets fail is that they limit people too much; make sure to leave some room for "miscellaneous" expenses, if you can. This allows you a little leeway to make those purchases that you may not need, but you'll end up buying nonetheless.
• Invest what you can. If you have money left over after your expenses and budget have been satisfied, consider what you should do with it. Sure, you could buy a new TV or a pair of shoes, but do you need either? Instead of spending it, consider investing it; this is, in essence, using your money to make money. It's passive income; it requires some work and thought to make smart investments, but once you invest it you only have to wait and reap the rewards. Now if you bought a car with it, as soon as you drive off the lot you have lost money!
Managing your money and finances is a great way to ensure the success of your marriage; if you are living comfortably, all other potential issues will be easier to deal with. If, however, your marriage is crumbling and you can't pay the bills, you may not be married for much longer!
So do what is best for your marriage; follow my advice and you may just live happily ever after.
You can get more valuable and free relationship advice at the website of http://www.relationship-buddy.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=D._Teoli
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